Language Lessons
by Charon the Sabercat
Summary: Krystal's not learning English fast enough, so the StarFox team tries several differnt techniques to get her to learn faster. Read and Review, please. And while you're at it, PLEASE review Day in the Life of Tricky!


Language Lessons  
  
Krystal's not learning English at a fast enough rate. Story about some attempts to get her to talk right, so she doesn't sound British with that stupid translator.  
  
Fox wished something better was on than "Macbeth's Funniest Home Videos"; it had to be the most boring thing on television. But, it was on... nothing else was.  
  
Fox bounced off the sofa as Krystal slammed down beside him. She was still wearing her white t-shirt and skort Fox had bought her that one day at Shop- O-Mart, although by now it was dingy gray and spattered with chili stains. Fox scooched over so that Krystal had room for her feet. "How are ya, Krystal?"  
  
"A'lo rood rokkoh. EX, dek kxaj jxen uwuad!" (I've been better. OH, not this show again!) Krystal pounded the armrest on her side.  
  
"Yeah, they don't stop playin' it," Fox started flipping through the channels. "I'm figurin' it's mostly stupid rednecks with nothin' else to do who watch it. I mean, you can picture it!" Fox put on his best Redneck impression. "HEY, MERL! Come look'at de TeeVee, iut's du one wid duh doggy an' duh sock!"  
  
Krystal laughed uproariously and settled back down, snuggling her cold feet behind Fox's tail.  
  
Fox stopped on one channel. It blared out, "TELL A FRIEND: YOU'RE WATCHING REAL TV."  
  
"Okay. Hey, Krystal, I'm watching Real Tv!"  
  
Krystal laughed again. Fox smiled. He liked it when she laughed- What's that noise?  
  
He pulled himself over the sofa-top to see Falco and Peppy looking down at him and Krystal. Slippy was gone, fixing the filtering system in the Atrium.  
  
"Hey, Falco," Fox innocently (Not) questioned. "What's up?"  
  
"Look, Fox, no offense, but we don't think Krystal's learning English fast enough," Falco ordered, placing his hands on his hips.  
  
Fox's face was calm, but his tense ears gave away the fact that the question had either caught him off guard or insulted him. "Why? She seems fine to me."  
  
"What's wrong?" Krystal asked, tapping Fox on the shoulder.  
  
"You see?" Fox shook Krystal's shoulder, not answering her question. "She's fine! Sure, she's slow on the uptake, but she's a grown woman! She's not gonna learn stuff very fast!"  
  
Falco, a bit thrown off by Fox's adamancy, went on. "Yeah, right. What is she learning from?"  
  
"She's learning from me and Slippy," Fox smiled.  
  
Slippy yelled from the backroom (he must've passed by during the conversation), "SHE WATCHES STAR TREK RERUNS WITH ME!"  
  
"What's better than Star Trek?" Fox laughed. "Right, Krystal?"  
  
"Aye, Captain!" she laughed, saluting very well but finding it hard to keep a straight face.  
  
"We just think she needs something a little more low level than Star Trek," Peppy added to the conversation.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
***  
  
"Not 'Mr. Fredrick's'," Fox breathed. "Anything but 'Mr. Fredrick's'."  
  
"It's a beautiful day in the stationway, a beautiful day in the station. Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Hello neighbor."  
  
"Hello, neighbor." Krystal repeated, staring mezmorized at the television.  
  
"Worked for you, didn't it?" Peppy pointed out. Fox blushed; he had learned how to talk mostly because of Mr. Fredrick's Space Station.  
  
"I'm gonna watch TV in the other room," Fox grunted, leaving the 'living room' for some other television spot. After a few minutes, Falco and Peppy left Krystal alone to watch Mr. Fredrick's in peace.  
  
But after a few minutes, Krystal noticed she was alone. She checked to make sure no one was there.  
  
"Fox?" she called out. "Fox? Nxoho uho oei?" No response. She paniced inwardly and ran into the other tv room.  
  
***  
  
Slippy, Fox, and Krystal sat on the ratty cloth sofa that occupied the storage room, watching Star Trek; The Next Generation. Krystal was abound with questions.  
  
"Fox, nxuk'j u 'tricorder'?" (Fox, what's a tricorder?)  
  
"I'll tell you at the commercial break," Fox monotoned. "I li- you see, WHY can't Deanna ever say something useful? It's always 'I don't know, Cahptaihn' or 'He's lying, Cahptaihn'. Why can't she get rid of that stupid accent?!"  
  
"Bet they have a surgery to fix that," Slippy wondered aloud, being the Trekkie he was.  
  
"Av kxoho nuj edo, jxo't ujb veh ak." (If there was one, she'd ask for it.)  
  
"No, she'd probably just say 'I don't wahnt to, Cahptaihn'."  
  
Lots of laughter fell into the room before Falco and Peppy marched in. "FOX!"  
  
"YEE!" Fox threw the closet object he could find (the remote) at Falco's head. "Don't sneak up on me!"  
  
"Why isn't Krystal watching Mr. Fredrick?!"  
  
"Well, she's got good taste," Fox joked, making Krystal and Slippy laugh again.  
  
"Don't worry, Falco," Peppy consoled the bird. "I have another idea."  
  
***  
  
"My Gramma used these when she moved over from Zezira," Peppy placed the headphones on Krystal's sleeping head. "She swears by these language tapes."  
  
"What if the tape skips and she'll only say one phrase over and over again, like in cartoons?" Fox asked stupidly.  
  
"Fox, hush." Peppy sighed, patting Krystal lightly on the head, then turning on the Walkman.  
  
***  
  
Fox threw an arm around Krystal's shoulder and hugged her as she sat down on the sofa for breakfast. "Hey, KrysTal! How'd the language tapes work?"  
  
"Um...." Krystal scratched her chin. "Dek nocc. A seictd'k idtohjkudt udokxadw kxoo noho juoadw." (Not well. I couldn't understand anything they were saying.)  
  
"'Ou couldn'?" Fox mumbled through a mouthful of ham-and-cheese sandwich.  
  
"Uh uh," Krystal shook her head. "Kxoo juat jkivv cabo 'El eka dey mono toya' udt zidb cabo kxuk." (They said stuff like 'El eka day mono toya' and junk like that.)  
  
"That sounds like Zeziran to me," Fox shook his head. "Peppy must've forgotten that they've changed language tapes from his day. They're not all English anymore."  
  
"PILE DRIVER!" Slippy playfully dropped onto the sofa in between the two foxes. "Star Trek on yet?"  
  
"First season, yes. Next gen, no," Fox answered.  
  
"Aw man!" Krystal whined.  
  
"What episode?" Slippy gulped down some cereal. As Fox answered his question, he held out the full spoon to Krystal, who lapped up the Rice Krispies gingerly.  
  
"The one with Khan."  
  
"Seen it," Slippy took another bite of Rice Krispies, making Fox gag. He snatched the remote and started flipping through the channels. "News-news- news-soaps-news-funniest videos (Fox and Krystal: NO!)- cooking show- cartoons-cartoons-Real Tv- there's nothing on!"  
  
"Not surprised," Fox sighed.  
  
"FOX!"  
  
There was a scramble of fur, the crash of a bowl, and the splash of falling milk as Falco sneaked up upon the sofa-sitters. Slippy had jumped up higher than Fox and Krystal and was now on top of the sofa. Krystal was on her hands and knees, breathing deeply and covered in milk. Fox had slammed into the tv, knocking it over. He alone stood on his own two feet, a look of pure loathing stamped onto his fox face.  
  
"FALCO! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SNEAKING UP ON ME?!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Fox," Falco shook his head solemnly. "But after the first two tries failed, I'm left with one choice..."  
  
***  
  
"VOCATIONAL SCHOOL!?"  
  
Falco turned a deaf ear to the pleading Fox McCloud, who was abhorrent about Krystal being sent down to Corneria's surface to learn English in some academy. As Falco walked through the Atrium, Fox rushed in front of him and blocked his path.  
  
"How could you send Krystal to a vocational school?! She's not ready for stuff like that yet!" Fox yelled in Falco's face.  
  
"She's a fully-grown, intelligent, level-headed woman. She'll be fine."  
  
"Yeah, but... but..." Fox couldn't think of a counter arguement. "But, but still not ready! She's not going to react well to being torn from her enviroment and stuck somewhere with a bunch of people she doesn't know!"  
  
"It's not a big school," Falco smoothly tried to calm Fox down. He seemed remarkably calm and level headed; very different from his earlier days. "Besides, you're talking about her like she's a kid."  
  
"Yeah, well-" Fox growled. "I just... don't want her down there!"  
  
"Man, you're protective of her," Falco sneered. "Are you sure you guys are just friends?"  
  
"Yes- ga- NO! I mean, yes! I mean, I'm just concerned about her well being!"  
  
"Look, if it means that much to you," Falco suggested. "You can take her down to the planet with you."  
  
"FINE!" Fox stomped away. "But I know she's not gonna like it."  
  
***  
  
"Okay, Krystal, do you like the new passenger seat?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Good," Fox smiled as Krystal sat in the much-more-comfortable-than-the- previous passenger seat. "I special-ordered that from a catalouge, you know."  
  
"Thank oei." Krystal was only paying half-attention; her nose was buried in a fishing magazine.  
  
"Hey, Krys, waddayasay we get something to eat at Woolie's before we drop ya off at school?" Fox suggested.  
  
"A um wokkadw xidwh0. Cok'j we!" (I am getting hungry. Let's go!)  
  
***  
  
"Real grilled meat?" Krystal asked as she examined her Woolie's cheeseburger.  
  
"Huh?" Fox looked up from his chicken fingers. "Where'd you learn to say that?"  
  
"Peppy."  
  
"Oh yeah! The camping trip!" Fox laughed. "I'd nearly forgot. No, this isn't real grilled meat, this is a cheap imitation."  
  
"Nx0 neict kxo0 ijo ud amakukaed adjkout ev kxo houc kxadw?" (Why would they use an imitation instead of the real thing?) Krystal vented to Fox, looking insulted at the prospect of being fed fake food.  
  
"Because it's cheaper and it prevents fires from grilling the hamburgers," Fox took a huge chomp from his fried chicken and looked back up. "That's why I don't eat hamburgers that I don't see cooked on a grill."  
  
"Okay..." Krystal placed her burger back on its wrapper and slowly pushed it away from her. "Mu0 A xulo u vhodsx vh0?" (May I have a french fry?)  
  
"Knock yourself out!" Fox invited warmly. Krystal took two french fries and nibbled them tentatively. Fox chuckled to himself. "The girl is weird."  
  
***  
  
"Good day, little girls, and single older woman," spoke Mrs. Gladfire, the teacher of the vocational school. "Welcome to 'Gladfire Etiquette Academy'. I hope you will enjoy your stay and learn something in the two weeks you will spend here."  
  
Krystal watched as Fox breathed agitatedly through his teeth. "What's wrong?"  
  
"She's a raccoon," Fox spoke through clench fangs. "I hate racoons."  
  
"You must be Krystal." Mrs. Gladfire stood before the blue fox dress in a dirty gray t-shirt and a nearly black skort. "She doesn't look very... normal."  
  
"She's from another planet in another solar system," Fox explained, trying his best to keep his cool around the raccoon. "She's not going to look just like us."  
  
"She looks like she just climbed out of a rock quarry," a snobby young weasel in the back of the room called out.  
  
"Now, Iphigenia, hold your tongue," the raccoon spoke curtly, but not scoldingly, to the teenaged weasel. She focused her attention back on Krystal. "We shall wash her clothes and teach her as much as we can. You may leave now." She waved her hands in Fox's direction. "Go."  
  
"Now, hang on a minute!" Fox nearly shouted. She turned Krystal towards him. "Now, Krystal, you behave over here, okay?"  
  
"Okay," she smiled innocently.  
  
"No screaming unless you really need to."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Try not to chew on your pillow too much."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Try to say 'Thank you', not 'Thank oei'."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Oh, and remember!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't eat the guniea pigs!" Fox gave her a friendly slap as she giggled. "Okay, I've gotta go now, bye bye!" Fox gave Krystal one last bear hug.  
  
"Bye bye," Krystal whimpered. "A'cc majj 0ei." (I'll miss you.)  
  
"A'cc majj 0ei, too, now bye!" Fox grudgingly walked out of the door, his fake smiled fading as Krystal escaped his view. He sighed helplessly as he plodded back to his cab. "I'll miss you too."  
  
***  
  
The Great Fox wasn't the same without Krystal, everyone would agree. Peppy missed having someone who would listen to his stories about the old days, before inter-system space travel and such. Falco, too, liked having Krystal around; he had tons of advice he'd be willing to toll out, if he could get someone to tell it too. Slippy missed having a couch-potatoe buddy to watch "Star Trek" with him; also, his Rice Krispies just didn't taste the same.  
  
And Fox just missed everything. He missed seeing her cute little smile; he missed hearing that extra set of feet running to the kitchen whenever Peppy said "I'M MAKIN' CHILLI!". The Atrium seemed a bit boring without Krystal there laughing at the fish. He missed everything about her. It just seemed... empty on the Great Fox without another Fox onboard. He took solice in counting the days in which he could pick her back up.  
  
"One more day to go," he spoke to himself, lying lazily in his room on his bed. He looked on his nightstand to see Krystal's staff, floating there harmlessly. Krystal had intrusted him with it after she left; he was the only one who Krystal trusted with it. Oh, the memories behind the staff. Fox sighed again. "One more day, Fox McCloud."  
  
***  
  
It was graduation day at the vocational school, and Fox stood uncomfortabley among the weasels, finches, and cockatoos that made up the majority of the tiny crowd. He watched as twelve little girls took their places on stage... and he waited.... for Krystal... for the entire ceremony....  
  
But she wasn't there.  
  
***  
  
Fox pushed his way into the backroom where he had dropped Krystal off two weeks earlier. "Krystal! Are you in here?"  
  
"FOX!"  
  
Before he could react, Fox was pummeled by a clean, yet sobbing, Krystal. He was taken by surprise and immediately hugged her back and began asking what was wrong.  
  
Mrs. Gladfire burst into the room, fuming with rage and exasperation. "Mr. Fox McCloud, that woman is a lost cause!"  
  
"Waddayamean, 'a lost cause'?" howled Fox.  
  
"She simply did not learn a thing I tried to teach her! She's as thick as a cinder block!"  
  
"I'm sorry!" Krystal whimpered.  
  
"What did you try and teach her, anyway?"  
  
"The correct way to walk, the correct way to set a table, the correct way to-"  
  
"Why were trying to teach her all of that?" Fox growled. "We only sent her to this school so she would learn to speak English!"  
  
"That woman speaks only of Arwings and 'tricorders'!" Mrs. Gladfire roared. "She is no doubt the most worthless waste of oxygen I have ever met! Now, get her out of my sight!"  
  
And a feeling went over Fox and Krystal. A mutual feeling of rebelliousness that starts in the throat and works its way throughout the body. In the olden days, they were called "vibrations of war", but nowadays, it was affectionately dubbed "the purr".  
  
Fox snarled through slit-pupiled, narrowing eyes. "You... don't Like Krystal?"  
  
***  
  
Fox felt awful as he flew back to the Great Fox, a side effect usually caused by "the purr". Stronger foxes and vixens before him had fallen victim to it; even his father once succumbed to the enraging effects of "the purr" when someone insulted Fox's mother, Daria.  
  
(Hold on, just a quick question: Is Fox's mother's name really Vixie, or is that just a fan name that's caught on? If it is the official name, I'll change it. Thank you.)  
  
"Fox?" Krystal spoke after a long, awkward silence.  
  
"Uh huh?"  
  
"Nxod te 0ei kxadb kxo0'cc vadt Mrs. Gladfire?" (When do you think they'll find Mrs. Gladfire?)  
  
"Probably soon," Fox told his friend. "We didn't stuff her that far into the closet."  
  
A giggle arose from the back seat.  
  
Fox began to smile again. "Yeah, one of those little weasels'll sniff 'er out. Of course, they practically marinate themselves in perfume, so it might take a while..."  
  
Krystal's laughter became louder and more relaxed. A grin spread across Fox's vulpine face. This was the Krystal he liked. Arwings and tricorders were all she needed to know about on the Great Fox.  
  
From now on, she was stayin' with him.  
  
DONE! Isn't it sweety-ness chocked!? 


End file.
